


Buck Rodgers In The Late 21st Century

by urgaylol



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: 80's references, I hate myself, I'm reuploading this since for some reason the last copy got taken down???, M/M, a soundtrack, au that doesn't really follow anything, mostly lighthearted, my bad sense of humor, smut-lite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 11:41:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14284161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urgaylol/pseuds/urgaylol
Summary: Some scenes which are moderately tied together that I wrote while procrastinating from studying for my finals.(think of this as a warm-up piece)





	1. Boredom

**Author's Note:**

> Warning, I do not have a beta. Typos may be prominent

Jesse McCree is bored.

He had been promised this mission would be filled with trials and tribulation. But right now, he would settle for something, anything happening at all. Something that would distract him from the canker sore that's throwing a goddamn party in the inner left half of his mouth.

They were defending some Hollywood jackass’s limo, because of something something vague plot. Only trouble was that there wasn’t any trouble, and they all were just standing around, kicking at the dirt. Jesse had chosen to wait next to Hana, who was attempting to make her mech line dance for him to [You Can't Hurry Love](https://youtu.be/fQ7uXX9K7Sk?t=5) (courtesy of Lucio's boom box), as a deceleration of their boredom. 

Empty missions like this weren't unheard of. To be honest, Overwatch was so damn competent at this ambiguous point that two out of three missions started and ended so underwhelmingly that Jesse had been known to sneak off for a day or two during them to deal with "business".

"I wish I could noclip IRL." Hana says when she gets too close to a wall and has to make a readjustment.

"Now, you know damn well I got no idea what that mean." Jesse replies.

"Older than a plug and play, McCree."

A few minutes go by. Hana keeps trying to line dance.

“D.Va, forgive me for imposing, but you really oughta be movin' on the off beats.” Jesse says, straightening his hat.

“You giving me advice on how to groove? Even Meka is less creaky than you.” Hana replies.

"Aww, now. With my lifestyle, I could live another five or six years."

"Your lifestyle is really unhealthy, though. Like, really."

"That's why I said..." Jesse starts before moving on. "Just lemme teach you how to it before I die, cause the threat of lung cancer and a high risk of heart attack are having a a goddamn race in me."

"Fine." Hana replies, giving in.

Jesse gets on Hana's right and shifts the kicks, gun shots, and hat tips from beats 1 and 3 to 2 and 4. Fareeha gives an amused laugh as she soars by, before giving Jesse a warning that they have a single flanker coming in.

Jesse can feel the air shift on his right. From the footsteps he can tell it's either a man or a heavy-set woman, about 200 feet away. Either way, they're alone and not a threat at all. In time with the next ' _love_ ', Jesse shoots the ground twice on either side of the pseudo military-clad figure's feet as they come into view.

"Might wanna rethink that." Jesse suggests to the figure, who promptly retreats. Jesse returns to dancing.

"I see you are having fun." a voice from the overlook calls down, disapprovingly. The depth and timbre tells Jesse that it's Hanzo, and the condescending tone also tells Jesse that it's Hanzo.

"Mighty fine of you to notice." Jesse replies, smiling and hoping that he doesn't get another lecture.

"Some of us are on lookout." says Hanzo, as if anything has happened on this stupid mission.

"And some of us don't mind takin' a little risk if it means getting to enjoy any of our goddamn time on this earth."

"Boys!" Hana yells.

Jesse had never really had much of an opinion of Hanzo, and besides the flirtatious rivalry he had tried to instate a while back before quickly giving up, he hadn’t interacted that much with his friend’s brother. Sure, he might steal the occasional glance at his waist or shamelessly perfect cheekbones, but it was innocent enough. And although Jesse couldn't deny that Hanzo could hit a tick off a mouse from a mile away with an educated potato canon, he had never seemed like the most emotionally intelligent person to Jesse. Hanzo had softened a bit over the past years as he had finally, finally come to terms with himself and rekindled his relationship with Genji, but he was still always so...regal? Royal? Jesse didn't really think children should be raised under the context that they were immensely more important than everyone else. 

Or in the Yakuza.

Hanzo sneers, and returns to looking out.

"The dragon watches." Hanzo announces, shooting out a sonic. 

Jesse can't keep a straight face at that and starts coughing loudly to cover his laugh. Hanzo glares at him with cold, clear eyes. 

Jesse takes the hint. Genuinely shaken, he goes back to Hana, who's having trouble getting her mech to do the semi-circle turn to the beat.

"D.Va, come over here and I'll help you with that." Jesse instructs.

"This better be good!" she replies, to Jesse's delight.

“Look. You just gotta…” Jesse puts his fists on each respective hip, and pivots 180 degrees on his right foot as he struggles to keep a straight face, “…swing closed like a tavern door.”

Hana laughs.

“Teach me.” she orders.

Jesse stands next to Hana as she enters her mech.

“Feet apart.” he instructs. “Shoulders broad. Get ready for the end of the chorus, and then pivot.”

“Gotcha.”

Hanzo stares down at Jesse, still not amused. Jesse winks, causing the other man to scoff.

“Swing closed like a tavern door.” Jesse repeats as they turn together in unison. He can’t help snickering a bit, and neither can Hana.

But after a few moments, Jesse's caught off guard when he hears a deep laugh that he hasn’t heard before.

Hanzo has fallen out of his nest and into the bushes, and is letting out a sound that’s a lot different that the mocking chuckle Jesse has heard once or twice.

To say Jesse is shocked would be an understatement.

“Is that…?” Hana starts, rubbing her eyes at the sight.

Jesse continues to gape. 

“Why would a human being ever commit such an act?” Hanzo breathes between fits of laughter.

“Huh.” Jesse says. Hanzo’s laugh is, charming? Jesse had always assumed the laugh of a man with a voice like that would be at least a little melodic, but Hanzo's cackle almost makes Jesse forget about all of his deeply-rooted uncertainty over whether or not Hanzo was a good person.

“Is he laughing or crying?” Hana asks. “It sounds like laughing but I didn’t think he could generate those sounds.”

But as quickly as it started, Hanzo realizes what he’s doing and abruptly stops. After regaining his composure, he clears his throat and looks to Jesse and Hana’s shocked faces.

“I, um. Hmmm.” Hanzo says “We will pretend this did not happen.”

Hanzo turns on his heals and scales the wall, and then proceeds to do a bad job pretending to be focusing on lookout.

Hana turns to Jesse. “That happened." she says.

"I can't believe it." Jesse replies.

"Me neither."

"No, I mean, I've been tryin' to make that fucker laugh for years. I've been witty, I've been high brow, I've pre-written lines for god's sake, and this is what gets him?"

Hana rolls her eyes and returns to her mech as a few sweet, sweet gun shots ring out.

"We got work to do. Don't think about it." Hana orders.

Jesse thinks about it. 


	2. Honor

Ever since the incident a few days ago, Hanzo’s laugh has been haunting Jesse McCree like that time he downed an entire Red Bull and read a particularly nasty Harlan Ellison story.

Hanzo has been avoiding him. Which is why Jesse is so surprised when the man sits down across from him at the table in the tiny breakroom, kitty corner from the kitchenette and between the bookshelves and the TV.

“McCree.” Hanzo says.

“Shimada.”

There’s a solid 68 seconds of silence before anything happens.

“What are you doing?” Jesse asks Hanzo as he tears the tops of five packets of sugar and pours then into his tea.

“It is none of your business. Enjoy your coffee silently.” he answers.

 Jesse watches as Hanzo follows up the sugar packets with some chives. There was no goddamn way in hell that could taste good. Although Jesse himself was known to pour whiskey into his coffee. Angela has never been pleased about it.

“What are you gaping at?” Hanzo asks as he catches Jesse staring at the jello power he's pouring into his tea cup.

“Not a thing, sweetheart.”

“This is a custom among my family. Do you wish to disrespect my sense of tradition and kinship?"

Jesse narrows his eyes. If it was anyone else, he’d assume he was being fucked with. He has to watch his step here.

“Your family a big fan a' blue raspberry jello?” he asks.

“A racist notion.”

“What?”

Hanzo begins to pour heaps of salt into his cup. Jesse watches for any crack in his straight face. There’s none.

Hanzo takes a ramen flavor packet out of his pocket.

“Ok, that’s it. I know when I’m being rustled with.” says Jesse, deciding that on the off chance he’s wrong, getting along with everyone isn’t worth this.

“Silence! This is an ancient Chinese tradition!” Hanzo barks, loud enough to make Jesse jump if he was someone else.

“You’re not Chinese.” Jesse replies. “Ain’t you like, Swedish or something?”

Hanzo’s character breaks and he finally cracks a smile and snickers. Jesse is pleased to hear the sound again, be it on a smaller scale.

“Ha! I knew you were pullin’ my leg!” Jesse exclaims.

“Truly an astounding observation.”

“Well, I’ll be. Hanzo Shimada fucking with me.”

Hanzo scoffs.

“You broke my composure, so in turn, I attempted to break yours.” he says.

“And how did that go?”

“It would have been a foolish plan even if it had succeeded.”

“Aww, now. Don’t beat yourself up over it.” Jesse said. “We all make mistakes, even guys who write real passive-aggressive Yelp reviews." 

“The last time I formulated a plan this childish, I perished of self-induced melancholy.” he replies, with a face like stone.  

“I always knew that if you had a sense of humor, it would be dryer than an un-airconditioned plane in Mississippi. Just never reckoned you’d have one in the first place.

“Believe it or not, I do. But I choose not to waste it on others unless I have reason to.”

Jesse thinks for a minute.

“So, what’s the reason?” he asks.

“You already know. 'Fucking' with you, as your previous statement concluded.” answers Hanzo, without skipping a beat.

“How much of your pride did I shoot down when I made you laugh the other day? Because I’m startin’ to think it was a lot.”

“The value of my pride which deteriorated was equal to how low of brow the humor in question was.”

With no warning, Jesse stands up swiftly.

“Someone’s poisoned the waterhole!” he says, with passion.

The corners of Hanzo’s mouth raise. He covers the lower part of his face in his hands and lets out a cough that quickly turns into a chuckle. Jesse revels at the sight of Hanzo with a look on his face _again_ that isn’t a subcategory of angry and sad, before it abruptly stops with re-contained composure.

Hanzo presses his face against the table.

“My honor. Diminished.” he claims.

Jesse doesn’t go for a cheap shot and instead asks a serious question.

“How do ya'll evaluate honor, anyway?” he asks.

Hanzo lifts his head off the table. “Who is you all?”

“Just you. Singular. Plural would have been all ya’ll.”

“That is how I evaluate honor.” Hanzo says, snapping his fingers. “I study a person’s actions to determine how much time and energy they waste with frivolous nonsense.”

“Much oblige.” Jesse replies, mockingly offended.

“You gathered that I was referring to your inefficient word use, correct?”

Jesse can’t help but laugh. “Reckon I did.”

“Success. My work is done.” Hanzo leaves, and returns with a fresh, normal cup of tea.

"Jesse McCree." Jesse says, extending his hand.

Hanzo grips it. "Shimada Hanzo. We have met several times."

"Not for real, though. For example; did you know that I ain't too fond of Overwatch?" 

Hanzo barks out a quick laugh.

"Yes, I did." he answers. 

"Alright then."

Several minutes pass. Jesse wonders if Hanzo feels he has no need to try to be funny anymore, as he’s accomplished his goal. Jesse is deeply disappointed in himself for not holding out for longer to see if Hanzo had more planned. Jesse can't believe that this is the same man who, a year ago, kicked him in the balls for staring too long at his nipple.

“Tell me how you really evaluate honor. What does it mean, exactly?” asks Jesse, breaking the silence.

“It would bore you.” Hanzo replies.

“I’m already bored. It’s either this or self-flagellation. Tell me, what does it mean to you?”

“Allow me to collect my thoughts.”

Hanzo closes his eyes for a solid 63 seconds before opening then. Jesse feels strangely threatened by how high his cheek bones are.

“Living a life that is efficient, disciplined, and with a healthy relationship to authority.” explains Hanzo. “And committing acts that do not inconvenience others by rendering them overcome with second-hand shame.”

Jesse had always suspected that a fundamental aspect of who Hanzo was as a person centered around his relationship to shame. Not that he would ever, ever tell him that.

“Huh. I had always suspected that a fundamental aspect of your person was centered around your relationship to shame, but I never thought I shot that close to home. Guess I’ve got better aim than I thought.” Jesse says, regretting nothing.

“Huh.” Hanzo replies.

“What?” Jesse looks down at his fingers to make sure they’re still all there. They are.

“More a compound of shame and guilt.” Hanzo answers. "Not that the matter is any of your concern."

Jesse supposes its difficult to live with the fact that a younger version of yourself tried to kill your own brother.

“Why 'you telling me this, sweetheart?”

“My brother wishes for me to be more open and lighthearted. And I feel guilty that it took me two years too many to accept who he was after he came back from my attempted murder of him, so I complied.”

"Alrighty then."

Hanzo tightens his grip around his cup of tea.

“That is enough for today.” he announces, getting up to leave. Jesse tips his hat. Hanzo doesn’t see, because he’s walking away. So Jesse starts humming ‘You’ll Bring Honor to Us All’.

An arrow impales his hat and pins it to the wall. Jesse immediately checks to make sure it's intact. And it is; Hanzo shot through an already-existing hole left by Gabe, years ago.

Hanzo Shimada looks damn cute when he walks away.

Uh oh.


	3. Justice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter taught me that 'causated' isn't a real word, and only 'causation' is ok? I used 'causated' anyway cause that's fucking dumb

“What does justice mean to you?”

Jesse McCree is shaken by the question. He puts down his newspaper to see Hanzo absentmindedly sipping his tea and wearing a facial expression that complements his superiority complex nicely.

Hanzo has joined him for tea the past few days, and it's gotten to the point where Jesse would call him a friendly acquaintance, but this is the first time he's been asked anything so personal.

“Why you wanna know?” Jesse asks back.

“I believe you owe me one.”

“Take a load off.”

Hanzo sits. “Make it quick” he says.

How would Jesse describe justice? Probably along the lines of ‘ _acts consisting two thirds of altruism and one third of revenge, that don’t necessarily abide by official laws; rather are grounded in the (sometimes conflicting, but often causated) internal desires for social improvement and outlet for burning anger_ ’.

“Guess I’ve never really thought about it.” Jesse lies.

“Do not patronize me with the notion that I cannot tell when you are clearly attempting to deceive me.”

“Ok, fine, fine. I’ll define it as my responsibility.”

Hanzo looks confused.

“And why is it your responsibility?” he asks.

“Universe ain’t gonna do it, so somebody’s gotta.”

“Nihilistic.” Hanzo comments, butchering the word. “But admirable."

"I do wish more people felt that way." Jesse admits. "Sometimes I feel like I'm in this by myself."

"Hmm. I have often found that when humans rely on a higher power to create fairness, they are less likely to attempt to create it themselves. However, I have never cared.” Hanzo replies, nonchalantly retying his hair with dexterity. 

"Yeah, but I think it's also a pure lack a' ambition sometimes. But then I think, I ain't that alone. Ana and Angela and a few others got hearts in the right place, and sometimes Overwatch does somethin' nice."

"Endearing." Hanzo comments.

Jesse tips his hat. Hanzo looks miffed.

“Childish.” Hanzo follows.

Jesse realizes that Hanzo unfortunately looks damn right adorable when he’s miffed.

And he’s miffed a lot.

“But continue.” Hanzo requests.

“Alright, I’ll give you a glance into my mind.” Jesse starts, choosing his words carefully. “I’ve killed a lot of men. Some because I needed to be fed, and some because shooting a gun was easier than reason. But I like to think that the rest of the consciousnesses I steal will be from men whos continued existence is inevitably going to hurt the innocent. And then I can lie to myself and say it’s because I’m just a damn fundamental utilitarian and pretend it’s got nothing to do with the fact that I wanna play almighty savor for the rush. But that’s a hell of a lot harder to swallow that sayin’ ‘justice ain't gonna dispense itself’.”

He might be a little drunk.

Hanzo says nothing, and looks blankly at him.

Jesse shoots up out of his chair. “There’s a snake in my boot!” he yells.

Hanzo snickers for a few seconds, before he clears his throat. But there's a brief moment where his eyes light up, and Jesse is almost tempted to challenge Hanzo’s fundamental self-discipline in the hopes that he can see it more often. Although that would probably be somewhat selfish.

“McCree. Your motives do not matter.” Hanzo replies, bring himself back to seriousness. “The outcome of a man committing a good deed for selfless reasons is the same as a man committing the same act for selfish reasons.”  

“Yeah, yeah, I know. To be honest with you, that the sentiment that stops my gun from entering my mouth. But I like to keep a little healthy skepticism to make sure my feet stay on the ground.”

“Rather than up a wall, you mean.”

“Forgive me for saying so, sweetheart,” Jesse smirks, “but you’re the most defensive thing I’ve ever seen.”

Jesse is stepping all over Hanzo’s toes in this conversation and he can’t believe he hasn’t gotten a punch to the gut yet. Well, at least not one that was completely authentic.

“Do you truly wish to insult me?” Hanzo says.

“Got nothin’ else to do.”

Hanzo stiffens. “Mutual. However, I should warn you, half of the men I have killed were with words.”

“Huh. Colder than a hardcore Marxist on a winter night, but without the charm.” Jesse says, corners of his mouth lifting a bit.

“Charm is a frilly cover. I prefer to live without frills, metaphorical or…” He eyes Jesse’s choice of attire. “otherwise."

Jesse shakes his head and grins. “You’re a damn delight. I should have gotten you bored a long time ago.”

Hanzo chuckles. It’s a different sound than the one he makes at Jesse’s horribly low-brow cowboy jokes. It’s more controlled, but still with all the charm and tone of a top tier stand-up bass player. It doesn't do much to stop the intrigue that's been developing in Jesse since the "incident".

“I am not always as stern as you think me to be. I only act that way when I see it needed. And now, it is not needed. My tea cup has no plans for revenge.” says Hanzo.

“Not always stern, huh?” Jesse responds, skeptical as he’s 100 percent sure Hanzo created the “No shoes on the couch!” sign that Jesse chose to ignore every day.

“There is a difference between being stern and simply pointing it out to you when inanity has captured your essence.”

“Tight enough to turn coal into diamonds. Have you tried rubbing one out?” Mccree jokingly offers, sure to get a snack on the cheek.

“Only twice.”

“Really now.” Jesse is surprised.

“This month.”

Jesse laughs.

“I find it to be quite calming” Hanzo admits, looking past Jesse with an absentminded expression.

Ok, unbreakable will aside, that’s kinda hot.

“You this open with everyone?” Jesse asks.

“No.”

"Why me?"

Hanzo snorts. "You are harmless." he answers.

Jesse is deeply offended.

"I am deeply offended." he states.

"Be pleased. Most never get to experience the intensity, passion, charm, and inevitable disappointment that is getting to understand me."

Jesse is charmed, and suspects that Hanzo’s willingness to show a hint of vulnerability around him is probably because he’s discussed it with his brother. Genji was fond of Jesse, after all.

Or maybe it was just because he made Hanzo laugh. Probably a bit of both. He hoped for a bit of both.

“Well, sweetheart, I’m happy to be on the receiving end of things.”

“And I am happy about the situation for the short moments before I am filled with regret.” Hanzo says. “Which is why I am going to return the favor.”

“Huwhat?” Jesse elegantly annunciats.

“Join me. In my meditation session tonight.”

“Um…” Jesse trails off. As much as he likes spending time with Hanzo, and as much as he enjoys seeing through the cracks in his bitter, angry, hot-topic shopping shell, _and_ as difficult it seemed to be on Hanzo to ask, Jesse is 100 percent sure he’ll fall asleep all over Hanzo’s family tradition. Also like he doesn’t wanna.

“I would love to but,” Jesse continues, “I have, uh, frisby lessons.”

“Then join me tomorrow.”

“We’ll see. I gotta go. I promised Ana I would help her loot some unfortunate souls.”

Jesse punches himself for not using that as an excuse.


	4. Boredom but like less of it

Jesse McCree is bored again.

They were stationed in Numbani. Jesse vocally wasn't a fan of this mission, as it involved going after a lower-level drug operation and working with Moira (who as far as the rest of the world knew, they were supposed to be capturing) to "encourage peacefulness" and totally not because Overwatch wanted some of her tech. But he had been reminded that he was "contractually obligated" to go, and that it made the organization look better. This mission hadn't been quite as tedious as the one a few weeks ago, because the other team was putting up a small fight. But it wasn't a challenge. Jesse was taking a smoke break under a billboard while Hana fired forwards endlessly.

"What's wrong, Jesse, bored?" Ana asks, jumping down gracefully from a Numbani overlook.

"I'm quite literally chewing a hole in my lip, because the pain at least gives me somethin' to think about." Jesse responds.

"Alright. Just be careful, because without that mouth, you're low on charisma."

"Ahhh, now, Ana, you and I both know I could charm a small town of worried mothers into thinking that a pool table was corrupting their youth, with or without talkin' pretty."

Ana lets out a quick chuckle.

"I suppose I can't argue with that." she admits, tracing her gaze up his body.

"So. When are you gonna let me into that snipers nest, mam'?" Jesse jokes. "You've aged like good whiskey."

Ana doubles over in laughter, even though this is not the first time they've had this exchange.

"I'm flattered. But you're too skinny for me." she responds.

"I know. Ya'll told me before."

Ana'a eyes widen. "I almost forgot. You're needed front and center. In about four minutes ago." she says.

"Good. I ain't much for waitin' around." replies Jesse. He knows it's nothing too serious, or Ana wouldn't have let him waste so much time being terrible.

"Yes. And even though Commander Morrison has a slightly easier time then you being our mid-range money maker, you just look so damn good doing it." Ana says.

"Really."

"Also, he's out like a baby in the break room."

Jesse laughs.

"But do me a favor." Ana continues. "When we get back and you two inevitably start swapping one-liners that aren't as cool as you think they are, let him pretend he helped us and was simply concussed to the point of losing all memory of the mission. Now, get out there."

Jesse tips his hat in thanks, struggles to wake himself up, and gets into position next to Hana. 

Hanzo is perched in a tree next to an overlook. Jesse totally did not spend any time yesterday trying out new gun flips to impress his new archer friend with until he accidentally shot another hole through the microwave.

Hanzo has his angry game face on, which Jesse really shouldn't find as intensely endearing as he does. He needs to keep this new found attraction in check.

"They seem pretty easy today." Jesse yells up to Hanzo, extending his gun. "But I bet I can out-snipe you."

Hanzo shoots the spur on Jesse's gun, causing it to spin.

"Point taken." Jesse responds. Unfortunately, after that, Hanzo is gone to support the team. Jesse follows suit.

To Jesse's right is a man who idiotically tried to flank by himself.

"And I'm all outta gum..." Jesse says as he flashbangs and incapacitates the man like a pro-Mccree. It's a non-lethal shot to a nerve cluster in his shoulder, allowing Jesse to feel pleased he managed to handle the situation non-violently until the man falls in sight of one of Sayta's turrets, frying in seconds. Jesse sighs as he charges forward.

Which is when he starts to hear something. A tune. It's very faint at first, and Jesse assumes that it could be anything: a boom box or somebody's phone, until he notices that it's gradually getting louder.

Another flashbang, coordinated with Hanzo's scatter shot. Jesse tries to focus on his goddamn job, easy as it is right now, instead of the music that is still growing louder. Until he sees a flash of Lucio and finally gets in cleaner earshot. What sounds like a gun shot whips through the air, causing Jesse to prepare for action, until it happens again and Jesse realizes it's part of the music.

“ _He rode a[blazing saddle](https://youtu.be/z-HRbsejTyw?t=22)_ ,” it played “ _he wore a shinning star._ ”

In a split second, Jesse turns to Lucio, who's having the time of his fucking life.

“ _He concurred fear and he concurred hate, he turned our night into day._ ” the music continues.

"Who in Sam hell put you up to this, Lucio?" Jesse asks in a voice that's supposed to sound threatening, but is undercut with the inanity of the situation.

" _He made his blazing saddle a torch to light the way_."

"Who did this?" Jesse asks loudly as he punches some guy in the solar plexes with his cybernetic arm. 

He hears a deep laugh that he's happy to find familiar. Hanzo has fallen out of his tree, another example of the inevitable downfall of the bourgeoisie. He climbs back up, completing the cycle of history.

"YOU!" Jesse accuses. Hanzo puts his hands up. 

"You made me lose my composure, this is just simple balance." Hanzo says, owning up. Knowing that Hanzo played a godforsaken prank has raised Jesse's respect for him.

"I ain't the one who just fell out of a Paperbark maple."

"That is only because you have never traveled up an incline more extreme than a mildly-sloped ramp." 

Hanzo aims another shot and Jesse shoots the shoulder of a sneaky woman who was attempting to sabotage the archer. Jesse runs over to her, prepared to cauterize her wounds, before Junkrat lobs a few grenades in random directions, blowing up the woman and getting play of the game. Jesse sighs again.

The music gets louder. Well, if you can’t beat em’…

" _We needed a man who was brave and true, with justice as all for his aim._ "

Jesse hears more than one person laughing when he starts shooting, dodging, rolling, reloading, and using gun powder to burn closed wounds of the incredibly incompetent enemy team while giving them helpful suggestions on how to rethink their lives to the beat. He's not sure if reenacting the Blazing Saddles theme is appropriate for a man of ambiguously European and Latin-American decent, but the song is too much of a real fucking banger to pass up.

" _He rode a blazing saddle, he wore a shinning star_." the chorus kicks in again.

Jesse raises his gun. "Reach for the sky." he says, with feeling, towards no one in particular. Genji boos.

"Please stop." Hanzo yells down to Jesse.

Knocking three perfect shots at a ground soldier targeting Ana and fanning the hammer on another one, Jesse protects the support and gives her a hat tip and a wink. Ana rolls her eyes, but looks pleased. Jesse then tucks himself into a semi-secluded space in a second story building.

"What are you doing?" Hanzo asks, hanging upside down in the doorway. Jesse steadies his nerves and suppresses the urge to jump at the surprise.

"Not a thing." Jesse answers, wrapping an interchangeable, unconscious enemy soldier's arm in a strip of shirt.

"McCree."

"It ain't hard, and he ain't got Mercy."

"Tend to them later." Hanzo orders, flipping over to his feet and joining Jesse.

"I got time." Jesse responds, truthfully. Hanzo follows Jesse's gaze out the window at the next squad on the enemy team, who are running up from a half mile away. Hanzo shrugs and shoots a sonic at Jessie's feet. He covers with ease while Jesse moves on to another unconscious wounded enemy. Jesse is confused that Hanzo is only requesting that he not help the wounded now, when he's been doing this whenever there's time for years. Then again, Hanzo had also never stopped by like this before, unless for a tactical play proposed by someone else.

"You are acting like a man with something to prove to himself." Hanzo observes. He's staring at Jesse in confusion, but also with a bit of something that Jesse hopes is intrigue.

Jesse shrugs. "Maybe, maybe not. Somebody told me once that the motives behind actions don't really matter to anyone, in the end."

Hanzo looks pleased. He refreshes the sonic.

Hanzo Shimada's waist looks damn nice when he nocks an arrow. The slight curvature of it really comes out.

"What fool told you that?" Hanzo asks when he's done. Jesse straight up snorts.

"But yes, that it mostly true." continues Hanzo. "However, there is one person who your motives behind an action affect."

"And who's that?" Jesse asks, knowing that it's himself but wanting to keep this conversation flowing.

"You." Hanzo answers, poking Jesse in the chest. 

There a few moments of silence. Jesse shoots the hand of someone attempting to sneak around the corner into the doorway.

"Somebody's poisoned the waterhole!" Jesse announces, flipping his guns.

At first glace, Hanzo looks displeased, but at second glace, Jesse can tell he's fighting back a smile. Hanzo finally breaks down and snickers.

"Please do not tell anyone." Hanzo asks as soon as he's done.

Blazing Saddles ends.

"Fuckin' finally." says Jesse.

The [Raw Hide](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaTKkAM4Jbk) theme starts playing. 

"Goddamn it." Jesse follows. Hanzo snickers, and Lucio can be heard laughing from the battlefield.

"How much you pay him?" Jesse asks Hanzo.

"He owed me a favor." Hanzo answers. It's ominous, but Jesse is flattered the favor was wasted on him. He had slyly asked a few other members of the team if Hanzo had ever been anything less than serious with them lately. He was a bit saddened, but too flattered when he found out Hanzo hadn't. From what Jesse could tell, most had never seen the man smile, let alone drop a dry joke or two on a daily basis.

"Jesse?" Hanzo asks.

"Yeah?" Jesse asks back, coming back from his thoughts.

"I trust you not to share with others that I let myself become less...methodical when I am around you." Hanzo winces as he says the words. "Is my trust foolish?"

"Nah, I ain't tellin' nobody. Wouldn't wanna risk you stopping."

Hanzo looks away.

Jesse hears a very specific kind of scream, and he knows exactly what it is.

"I'll be back in a jiffy." Jesse says, popping out of cover. Yes, it's like he thought. Moira is dragging some poor, half-dead soul off to be found next week with two frontal lobes and no hands. 

Jesse shoots the figure dead out of Moira's hands, and the screaming stops. Moira quickly looks around, and glares when she sees Jesse. He takes off his hat in a cold, mocking way and tosses some Oingo Boingo CD's he had saved in his pocket for this very occasion at her before returning to Hanzo. 

"So you are to blame for Moira's shortage of test subjects." Hanzo remarks, cleaning blood from an arrow.

"Look, I ain't saying human testing is a black and white issue, but she ain't otta be the one calling the shots." Jesse replies. It's half true. He's more worried about the organizations she's linked to calling the shots than Moira herself. 

In one fluid and sudden motion, Hanzo widens his eyes and fwips his head toward the choke-point that the enemy team had been sprinting to for like the last million years.

"What 'those ears catching?" Jesse asks.

"They are in possession of a large, metal steed!" shouts Hanzo in response.

"Hanzo, that's a tank."

"We need to take care of it."

Hanzo takes the back entrance and is out of sight in seconds. Jesse emerges from his cover to ground level and gets a good look at the tank. It's a standard, modern military thing, although it's been painted crazed-anarchist style. The rest of the enemy team is using it as cover.

It doesn't look too bad. Angela shouldn't have to res anyone today. But he's still gonna have to put some elbow grease into this one.

"Hey, fella." Jesse yells. The tank turns to face him. Jesse realizes he has no plan. Oopsey doopsy.

Something lands next to Jesse's feet. He looks down, ready to jump if it's an active explosive, but no. Lena has glitter-glued a fuse to her bomb and tossed it in Jesse's direction.

Jesse observes the rate that the fuse is deteriorating and counts his time. Raw Hide playing in the background is somehow helping him focus. 

"You ain't some sort of conscious omnic enslaved by these people, right?" Jesse asks the tank. The tank does not respond because it's a tank.

The tank fires at the minimally described building next to Jesse, making it a necessity to roll out of the way. He swallows some dirt and can feel that a few of his hairs are singed. 

"Well, fuck you too!" Jesse yells, chucking Lena's discarded bomb at the beast. To his surprise, an arrow flies out that impales the bomb, sending it up the canon of the tank. Jesse rolls and ducks, covering his head and ears while the explosion happens. Needless to say, the thing is totaled. Jesse is very pleased because this is the first time throwing an explosive at a big bad has ever worked for him, and about his tenth time trying.

"I was charged, you know." Hana complains. Jesse attempts to initiate a nice bonding moment with Hanzo.

Hanzo drops down from another tree onto the back of a static bus, and then onto the ground. Grinning wildly, Jesse gets into his high five stance.

He's denied.

"Meditation. With me. Tomorrow." Hanzo responds. "Then, maybe."

Before Jesse can put his hand down, Lena flashes through and high fives him. Very hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss tf2


	5. Meditation

“I’m here. I’m here.” Jesse McCree says. It’s been a week and three shared cups of tea since Hanzo gave Jesse the meditation offer. After two of Jesse’s grandmas and one of his dogs died, his appointment with Dr. Dentist needed to happen, the two times getting scurvy, and one time catching a case of “inverted penis”, Jesse had run out of excuses. Which is why he's in Hanzo’s quarters, which smell strongly of incense and only the vaguest dogma.

Jesse is not looking forward to sitting quietly for a million fucking years with his eyes closed. Maybe if he starts bleeding fast he can get out of it.

Hanzo returns from his bathroom with his hair down. To Jesse’s surprise, it’s a little bit wavy. Not to Jesse’s surprise, it’s fucking beautiful and he stops biting the inside of his mouth to draw blood. 

“Can I make a comment?” asks Jesse.

“No.”

"May I make a comment?"

"No."

“Your hair looks nice like that.”

“I do not care what you think.” Hanzo claims, clearly caring what Jesse thinks.

Jesse watches as Hanzo sits down.

“Sit up. Your form resembles a dying animal.” Hanzo orders to Jesse, disproving of his preferred method of slumping over with his legs out.

“Well excuuuse me, princess.”

Hanzo has opted for sitting on his knees, resting next to his bow, instead of crossing his legs in what Jesse thought was the traditional manner. Jesse straightens his back, letting out a chorus of every bone in his back cracking.

“So, what do we do now?” Jesse asks. The only stuff he knows about Japanese culture are what little he learned from some TV show called Animay that Hana and Lucio had made him watch once.  

“We feel.” Hanzo answers.

“Ok…”

Jesse is quiet for a minute.

“Feel what now?” he asks.

Hanzo sighs. “Your emotional and physical center. A warrior must understand their current mental state. Some would call it ‘controlled metacognition’.” he explains.

So Jesse closes his eyes. 

‘ _Alright, mind._ ' he asks himself. ‘ _What’s going on with you?_ ’

‘ _I’m Michael Jordan. McDonald’s restaurants has given me this time to talk about something we both really care about; kids._ ’ his mind replies. ‘ _Kids are the reason that McDonald’s sponsors the Get it Straight program, a national drug awareness_ -‘

‘ _That’s enough, pumpkin._ ’ thinks Jesse. This is harder than he thought.

“Is it too late to go to the bathroom?” Jesse asks. Hanzo pretends not to have heard him.

So Jesse tries again. After several attempts and his brain reciting all the dialog from an entire episode of Firefly (the one with the upper-class party and sword dual), he finally hits the state that Hanzo was talking about, maybe. Who knows.

Suddenly, he’s learning things about himself, and reviewing information that he already knew. Like that his skin aches where the metal of his prosthetic meets it. His back hurts. He’s really hard on himself sometimes and it can be ironically counterproductive to self-improvement.

He misses home so much his chest aches. He’s sad and scared but also happy to have moments of joy and contentment in his life. 

Holy shit.

When Jesse opens his eyes, he’s greeted to Hanzo sitting with his eyes closed.

Jesse can’t help but stare. Hanzo looks like he’s focusing intently on something for a few minutes, until all of the tension drains out of him.

Jesse spends some time just admiring the shape of his face. Hanzo’s face is such an incredible thing that Jesse wouldn’t be surprised if it had been designed.

On the topic of deliberate meta-cognition, Jesse finally confronts some thoughts that he hasn't really come face to face with yet. Thoughts regarding how much he wants to take this man in his arms for his own, help him accept himself, and plow him until neither of them can walk straight. 

Ok, Jesse feel a little bit guilty about that.

So much for keeping his attraction in check.

Jesse hadn't really taken the time yet to acknowledge his little problem. But it was there, and it was prominent. Jesse liked the way Hanzo spoke, his dry wit, his wisdom, his conversation, the part of his body where his legs met his torso, and to be honest, the way he could kill a man in three hundred different ways left Jesse on fire.

And the thought of running his hands up his waist...

Jesse realizes having a sexual awakening in this setting is probably a bit rude, so he draws his attention back to his inner self or whatever, and closes his eyes. 

Minutes pass. Jesse isn't quite sure if he's asleep or not. It feels kind of like the fever dream he once had in that IHop parking-lot.

He regains consciousness at the sound of Hanzo stirring, with no concept of how much time has passed. Like that time he woke up in the parking lot of that Dennys.

Hanzo stretches and groans. Jesse tries not to think about what it would be like to wake up next to him. 

“Well, whadidya feel?” Jesse asks, cutting the silence.

In one swift movement, Hanzo grabs his bow and fires an arrow straight through the window, shattering it with a satisfying crack. Jesse flinces. The shards fade out of existence and the window reassembles itself. Winston had probably given Hanzo some sort of energy barrier, and Jesse assumed it was because Hanzo had a habit of breaking things. Jesse wonders for a moment why Winston hadn't given Jesse anything like that, even though Jesse's quarters contained more gunshot holes than dead skin cells.

“The matter is not your concern.” answers Hanzo. “But anger. Rage.”

He seems a bit sad. Jesse glaces at the visor-less, scarred picture of Genji hung over Hanzo’s bedroom door. When Jesse had asked why he had it there, Hanzo had also answered with “The matter is not your concern.” but followed it up with “But as a reminder of my own failings.”. Jesse had said "Alrighty then.".

“But then, solace.” Hanzo continues, perking up a little. “A truly beautiful moment. What about you?”

Jesse grins. “I realized I’m more repression than man at this point, darlin’.” he says.

"Congratulations. You were the last to know." Hanzo quips back.

"I also realized I ain't too fond of our employers."

"You have told me several times."

Hanzo ties his hair back up.

"So, you gonna let me join you again next time?" Jesse asks.

"No. You are too distracting." answers Hanzo.

Jesse tries not to look too pleased at the possible flirtation.

"What? Why I ain't never done anything wrong in my whole damn life, let alone in here." Jesse lies.

"I will see you tomorrow in the break room. Make me a cup of tea, and I will reconsider provided your conversation over it is acceptable." 

"I look forward to it."

Hanzo Shimada is the sweetest damn thing Jesse has ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what kind of meditation Hanzo practices, but the only kind of meditation that I'll even pretend to do is called "mindfulness meditation", which what taught to me by some surprisingly kind-hearted and refreshing shoeless hippies.


	6. Alcohol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, feel free to comment. I like talking to people!
> 
> also this is the only good chapter

Jesse McCree is stressed out.

Sure, he's grateful to have a job where he gets to work with interesting people and fulfill his purpose as a human, biologically programmed to derive dopamine from committing acts that aided his fellow man or noticably affected society, and sure, Angela almost always could rebuild people if they died of anything other than old age or an atom bomb, but being on his guard all damn day for the past 48 hours had left him in need of a break.

And sometimes, a break meant lying shit-faced, face down on the floor.

He hadn’t meant to get this wasted. But his lack of severe depression recently has resulted in a loss of tolerance.

“ _Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam,_ ” Jesse started to sing, uncharacteristically tripping over his words. “ _and the deer and the antelope—_ shit!”

He’s interrupted with a light kick in his side. He looks to his side to see two silver, pointed gay-wad slippers.

“Why, greetings and salutations.” he says to Hanzo as his face morphs into a wide smile he isn't too proud of. He tries to tip his hat, but being on the floor makes it difficult. Jesse realizes that he needs a new ‘thing’.

“I see you’ve learned a lot from my teachings.” Hanzo remarks dryly.

“Thank you kindly, angry bird man.”

“Are you really, truly inebriated at midday?”

“Well, I’ll be. The only thing higher than this noon are the pair a' cheekbones looking down on me.” Jesse answers, kind of.

“Get up. Help me find something.” Hanzo orders.

“Help you find what?”

“Your self-control.”

Jesse rolls onto his back (overshooting slightly), closes his eyes, and crosses his arms over his chest.

“Eliminated Jesse McCree.” he says. Hanzo is audibly annoyed. Jesse snickers.

"I am almost completely certain that is not your real name." Hanzo says, correctly.

“Join me on the floor.” Jesse requests.

“Why would I enable your obviously self-destructive alcoholism?”

“I’m not sure about you, but right now, I’m having a goddamn ball.”

There’s a few moments of silence. Jesse is surprised; he was expecting an immediate no.

“What do you have to drink?” Hanzo asks Jesse, finally breaking the silence.

Jesse lifts a mostly empty bottle of whiskey off the floor.

“So predictably tasteless.” Hanzo comments. Jesse hears the shuffling of his feet and thinks he’s left (which would be fair) until the feet return.

Hanzo sits down next to Jesse, and he catches the the sound of liquid sloshing.

“I wasn’t expecting you to follow through. Can’t say I’m complaining, though.” Jesse says.

“I cannot hear you when you slur into the floorboards. Although I am not complaining either.” Hanzo replies.

“I do gotta wonder though, why you joining me?” Jesse trips over his words, just a bit.

“I am doing this simply to prove to you that we do not all act so foolish under the guise of fermented bread.”

“Nah, that ain't it. You need a break, don’t you?” Jesse tries to turn over on his side, but ends up falling on his face again. He meant to do that the whole time.

“Calculated.” Hanzo snickers, taking another long sip.

“Touche.”

“As I was saying, I _(hic)_ -“

“Didn’t quite catch that, doll.”

Hanzo sighs.

“Why do you call people these things?” he asks.

“They never ask me to stop.” Jesse answers.

“I have asked twice in the last week.”

“You didn’t mean it.”

Hanzo doesn’t deny it, and instead takes another swig. And then another.

"Might wanna slow down there, parder." Jesse warns.

"Unlike others in my present company, I- _oh_." Hanzo cuts himself off.

"Oh?" Jesse asks.

"I understand why people do this now."

Hanzo joins Jesse on the floor.

"Whadu ya'll wanna do?" asks Jesse.

"I will become one with the earth."

"Alrighty then."

A few moments pass.

"You're a mighty good shot, Hanz." Jesse says.

"I know."

"Most people take and return the complement."

"Unlike most, I do not see the point in celebrating other's frivolous  _(hic)_  mediocrity just because they reconize my brilliance." Hanzo shoots, but Jesse can feel him shaking with laughter.

"Huh." Jesse responds.

"What?"

"You're the meanest person I've ever met."

"It is a burden." Hanzo replies, melodramatically tossing his head. 

"Really now."

"Well, as long as we are being honest, it is quite difficult being cruel to you."

Jesse feels another smile creep across his face.

"Pretend I did not say that." Hanzo requests.

"Don't worry Hanz, I ain't about to go assumin' that you're some kind of emotionally broken human being with a dark past who sees a sort of inspirational good in an overdressed cowboy with a tropey sense of ethics and a gun that shoots like a dream."

To Jesse's delight, Hanzo chuckles. Jesse joins him. 

After the laughter subsides, Jesse thinks back to the reason he had gotten drunk in the first place.

“I killed a man this week. Not for Overwatch.” says Jesse. “He put up a fight, but in the end, you know.”

"What do I know?"

"Look Hanz, I don't wanna jack my dick off too much, but I once won a dual with a particularly vicious looking pinecone."

“Oh."

"Yeah."

"Do you regret it?” Hanzo asks.

“Not especially. I was hung up on it for a few days. Stealing someone’s potential to make any more choices with a bullet gets easier, but not that much easier.”

Hanzo makes a noise that sounds like amused agreement.

"And I keep thinkin', maybe he wasn't destined to be like that. Someone who serves no benefit to society. Someone who's such a threat."

"I do not usually think about this, but it is refreshing to know that you do."

“Ya know, ya'll actually helped me out the other day, with your whole sitting party. Realized that even though it’s unfortunate what I had to do, it was still the best thing I could have done.” Jesse continues. “Like fixing a dog.”

“Sitting party.”

“Shut up Hanz I’m drunk.”

“I am honored to have helped you.”

There's a moment of silence. Jesse smiles to himself, running Hanzo's words over and over again in his head.

“I’m glad we started talking.” Jesse says, breaking the silence.

“I am as well.” agrees Hanzo.

“Why didn’t we sooner?”

“I was worried as to what you thought of me. I know you consider my brother to  _(hic)_ be a good friend. How would you have reacted if his killer greeted you?”

“That’s a good point.”

There's another moment of silence.

"You are a good man, Jesse Mccree. I admire you for that." says Hanzo.

Jesse is stunned. "That might be the sweetest damn thing I've ever heard you say." he says.

"I would like to take back my comment if you are going to-" 

Jesse cuts him off by wrapping his arms around Hanzo in terrible attempt at a sideways hug, demasculizing himself in the process. Hanzo goes stiff.

He smells really nice. Like chemicals but in a good way. Jesse is about to pull away when Hanzo awkwardly pats his back. Three times. It's a wild ride.

When he does pull away, Hanzo looks shocked.

"That is the..." Hanzo says slowly. "First time I have ever been hugged."

"R-really?" Jesse studders, his face morphing into confusion and worry.

Hanzo barks out a laugh. "No, you imbecile." he says.

Jesse wacks Hanzo with his hat and joins him in the laughter.

"You got me." Jesse admits.

"And you dress like a depraved bisexual man with several very specific compounding fixations."

"Aww, fuck off."

After a minute, Jesse sits up and motions for Hanzo to pass him some hair of the dog.

"There is something I must tell you, Jesse." Hanzo says as he passes over the bottle.

"Dammit, Hanz, every time you use my first name, five years are added to my life." says Jesse as he steals a swig. "What 'you need to tell me?"

"I know you fucked my brother." Hanzo answers.

Jesse spits out his mouthful as Hanzo starts to giggle.

"I was twenty-fucking-five, Hanz-"

"Jesse, it is alright-"

"It was 14 years ago, I didn't mean nothing by it-"

"Jesse I-"

"Well, it didn't mean quite nothing to me. It was between friends, you know?"

Jesse falls over, mortified. Hanzo is delighted.

"I should have told you." Jesse admits. "To be honest, I forgot."

"Jesse. Do not worry. I would have done the same thing at that age. Just keep in mind that as of my 40th birthday, there is little kept between Genji and I." says Hanzo.

"I'ma gonna go ahead and assume you mean you would have fucked me at 25, not your brother, right?"

"What I was insinuating was that at 25, I would not be above casually bedding a friend. Humility, Jesse."

"You're one to talk, sugar cake."

Hanzo sighs.

"After many years of using arrogence as a foolish defensive mechanism, I have found that a true sense of self-confidence does not come from attempting to appear superior to everyone else, as the need to do so implies an insucurity in your place in society, which undermines happiness. A man cannot be content with himself until he finds beauty is his own _(hic)_ inherent mediocrity" he says.

"Then why did you annouce loudly that you were the best at everything yesterday in Anubus?"

"Because I hate myself."

Jesse bursts out laughing loud enough that his sides ache. Hanzo's straight face breaks and he cracks the biggest smile Jesse's ever seen on his face.

"I'll drink to that, honey." Jesse says, lifting his wiskey. Hanzo links arms with him and the both take swigs of their respective drinks.

"Happiness is fleeting, anyway." Hanzo says between giggles.

 A few moments pass.

“I have an idea.” Jesse says.

“It is surly foolish.” Hanzo shoots at him.

“Just hear me out, honeybee.” Joel requests.

“Do not refer to me like that.”

“Just hear me out, huckleberry.”

“Do you wish to keep all of your toes?”

“Switch clothes with me.” Jesse requests, finally pitching his brilliant idea. Hanzo lets out a mocking snort.

“How is it that your plan is even more childish than I expected it to be?”

Jesse shakingly stands up and begens to strip down to his underwear, an idea that he certainly won’t regret later.

“Do what you will, but do not expect me to match your inanity.” Hanzo says, seemingly amused.

Jesse winks horribly. “As you wish, huckleberry.”

“I have killed tens of men, and hundreds of omnics. One cowboy would not cause me to lose any more sleep.” Hanzo threatens.

“I gottcha, Huckleberry.”

“Jesse…”

“Huckleberry.” Jesse says, drawing it out even slower than he usually speaks.

“Fine! Fine! I will join you! But only because of the  _(hic)_ unconventional state I’m in.” Hanzo exclaims, referencing to his own drunkenness like it’s not his fault. Jesse respectfully turns his eyes away as he slips out of his outfit. Luckily, Hanzo switched back to wearing his weird short pants and his combat shirts, after Fareeha burned all of his casual clothes for being horrible and the worst.

When Jesse trades his own simple shirt for Hanzo’s, he’s taken a bit aback by how naked the left side of his body is. As Hana said, Hanzo liked to “let the titty out”.

Hanzo’s pants are looser than his own. He surly looks ridiculous in them but damn him if he isn’t ok with it. When Hanzo hands Jesse his hair ribbon, Jesse ties it around his head like a banana.

Hanzo’s clothes smell like him, and Jesse pretends not to notice that he can now indulge himself in the scent that he had only before been able to get quick whiffs of whenever Hanzo sat across from him.

“Damn, sweetheart.” Jesse says as he sees Hanzo, all flanneled out.

If Jesse’s being honest with himself, there’s something strangely sexy about seeing Hanzo is his own clothing. And despite the pants being a bit too long, he looks damn fine in them.

He catches Hanzo staring at him.

“Up here, pumpkin.” Jesse says.

“Do I…” Hanzo starts, “I never realized quite how revealing my choice of attire was.”

Jesse responds by placing his hat on Hanzo’s head.

“I am cowman.” Hanzo replies, looking Jessie dead in the eyes and flipping his new cape over his shoulder.

Jesse falls back over on the ground, laughing too hard to stand. This was a good idea.

Hanzo lands next to him, their sides pressing together again. Jesse is filled with warm feelings.

“Hanzo?” Jesse asks.

“What.”

“You seem happier.”

Hanzo closes his eyes. “I find myself coming to terms with my myself. I am at peace more often.” he says. 

Jesse takes a moment to just look at him, at the beautiful curvature of his face, and those eyes, and that waist. Like Mark Twain always said, ' _Hanzo Shimada is a total beefcake_ '.

Maybe it's because of the alcohol, or maybe because Hanzo looks good in jeans, but it's at that moment that Jesse realizes Hanzo is the most impossible pretty thing he's ever seen.

Jesse is tempted to kiss him. To feel that soft mouth under his own.

But he wants to be sober for that.

"I can't kiss you, I'm drunk." Jesse says aloud.

"What did you say, Jesse?"

"I wasn't talking to you."

“Someone is coming.” Hanzo says, changing the subject. Sure enough, there’s footsteps. He hears Hana muttering to herself. Maybe she won’t notice they're wearing each other’s clothing.

“Why are you wearing each other’s clothes?” she asks, immediately.

“Don’t come in.” Jesse says. “We’re making out.”

Hanzo snorts.

“No you’re not.” Hana says. “And even if you were, I wouldn’t care. Just because you’re the two hot guys doesn’t mean I want you to be my gunkles. How shallow do you think I am?”

“Gunkles?” Jesse asks.

Hana rolls her eyes. “Gunkles. Gay uncles. How old are you, 80?”

“Hana. Do not disrespect your Cunkle like that.” says Hanzo, jumping to Jesse’s defense.

“Cunkle?” asks Hana.

“Cow uncle.” Hanzo answers, causing him and Jesse to burst into another fit of laughter. Jesse basks in the inanity.

“Whatever.” she says. “Just keep quiet. The smell of alcohol is already enough to distract me from not whiffing this next hit against…”

Jesse stops understanding what she's talking about after that. Something about fighting a boss in some game that was extremely important to her social standing, but her word choice is so convoluted that he lets out a loud snore.

“Quiet!” she orders.

Jesse and Hanzo are quiet for a few drunken moments. Jesse tries to find peace lying next to Hanzo and listening to the electronic pings and the one-liners uttered by Hana that he had come to realize indicated that she was completely immersed in what she was streaming. Until Jesse starts to feel nostalgic, and can taste the tune of an old, sweet folk song bubbling against the tip of his tongue. He opens his mouth.

“ _Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, Mata au hi made._ ” Jesse slur-sings quietly. Hana sighs loudly.

“ _Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto-_ “

“Shut up!” Hana exclaims.

Jesse probably would have, but he knows that interruptions in Hana’s streams gave her more attention, although she would never admit she liked in while on camera.

“ _Himitsu wo shiri tai._ ” Hanzo joins in with a different key, nailing the Japanese a lot better than Jesse had. Why Hanzo knows the song Jesse doesn't know, but he is extremely pleased nonetheless.

“Goddamn.” Jesse says, bemused.

“Silence, you fudgers!” says Hana. 

" _You're wondering who I am._ ” Jesse and Hanzo sing in “harmony”. “ _Machine or mannequin. With parts made in Japan._ ”

“Jungji.” Hana begs, growing mockingly desperate.

“ _I am the modern man._ ”

Suddenly, Jesse feels the ground under him tremble a bit as someone rushes into the room. He assumes it’s a large figure with the force he feels, until he hears the voice.

“ _[I've got a secret](https://youtu.be/uc6f_2nPSX8?t=86), I've been hiding under my skin!_ ” sings Genji in yet another key. “ _My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain I.B.M._ ”

With difficulty, Jesse rolls over onto his back to get a better look at what's going on as the ground continues to shake. Genji is dancing; something Jesse has never seen before and neither Hanzo or Genji himself have ever mentioned happening.

“ _So if you see me acting strangely, do not be surprised! I am just a man who needed someone, and somewhere to hide!_ ” Genji continues, getting into it.

Getting really into it. Watching Genji jerk and flip and pop and lock violently, Jesse realizes he’s never seen him so animated.

“Genji! Go away!” Hana shrieks, barely containing a giggle at what was probably also her first glimpse of Genji dancing.

“ _To keep me alive, just keep me alive_.” Genji swaps rhythmically between several warrior stances, and throws three morning stars at the wall. He impales Morrison’s Cube Zero poster.

Hanzo breaks down into what can only be describes as a fit of giggles. And Jesse had thought he had lost his composure during the “close like a tavern door” incident. But this, listening to Hanzo’s deep bursts is about the best way this day could have gone.

“ _Somewhere to hide, to keep me ali-veeeee!_ ”

“Genji, are you crying?” Hana asks. Jesse realizes there are tears pooling up against the metal under Genji’s solely exposed eyes in his mask.

“No.” Genji answers, his visor coming down. “The beautiful story behind this piece simply resonates with me.”

Jesse snorts.

“I must go.” Genji says, quickly leaving before even commenting on the fact that his brother is dressed as a cowboy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I wonder if writing fanfiction is unethical. So i drink heavily!


	7. Touching

Jesse McCree really likes his weekly schedule. There may be physical and mental hardships, but the off time makes up for it.

And not just because of his now daily cup of tea and weekly drink with Hanzo.

But also because Hanzo is affectionate when he’s had a few, not just to Jesse but to Genji and Hana and Ana and Lucio. There’s this core of sweetness that comes through, and Jesse can’t get enough because a sober Hanzo’s idea of affection is not punching Jesse in the face when he asks personal questions.

And specifically to Jesse and Jesse’s pleasure towards his own schedule, Hanzo is _physically_ affectionate when he’s had a few.

Sometimes.

The first time it had happened was a month into their new hobby as drinking partners. Hanzo had put his hand on Jesse’s knee. He had immediately removed it and apologized, which had been a bad time for Jesse to vomit into one of Angela’s plants. Hanzo had cut him off, after that.

Hanzo always made sure he kept the drinking to days off only, and not to the point of blacking out. He was not pleased when Jesse called him ‘matronly’.

And Jesse loves him. He loves his dry sense of humor and his willingness to share it, his wit and wisdom, his skill, his sharp eyes, and the core of wisdom that's underneath all the emotional damage. And when he smiles, it makes Jesse's goddamn day. He's not in love with him, per say, but infatuation mixed with lust and friendship give off a taste that leaves Jesse needing to remind himself he's not in love. It's extreamly hard work to keep his hands and his heart to himself, but from what he reads off of Hanzo, the man fears affection and Jesse doesn't want to destroy what they have.

At the present moment, however, Jesse wakes up to feel a head against his shoulder on the worn-down couch in his room. To Jesse's delight, it's Hanzo's. Of course it is. They got smashed last night.

It's an extreamly pleasant sensation, to say the least. Jesse pretends to be asleep, wanting to see Hanzo's reaction when he wakes up, and avoid embarrassing him with confrontation in this situation. 

Hanzo is pulled up into a ball, and his hand is on Jesse's chest. Jess had been suspecting for a while that Hanzo needed physical human contact, but didn't know how to ask.

Spending the next two hours and forty seven minutes laying silently with his eyes closed, having to strongly resist tracing his fingers up the man's face is worth it when Hanzo finally starts to stir. Jesse keeps his eyes glued closed and his breathing level to pass as asleep.

He feels a chord strike through Hanzo, probably of realization. He then feels what he can only guess is the other man attempting to remove himself from the situation without waking Jesse.

Jesse waits a few more minutes before making a show of stretching his arms up and yawning. Thanks to Hanzo force feeding him water before bed, his hangover is practically nonexistent. 

He scans the slightly messy, shot up flat for Hanzo, and finds him tucked in his unused (until now) kitchenette. Classical music that he recognizes as Holst's Suite No. 1 in E flat major is playing, and Hanzo seems fully engrossed in cooking something.

"Well, good morning, sunshine." Jesse says.

"It is not much of a morning." Hanzo replies, eyeing the grey sky through Jesse's small window. "Not a pitiful display, but bleak enough to encourage to me to question the taste of any deity in charge."

"Alrighty then." Jesse gets off the couch to find that Hanzo was once again wearing Jesse's own flannel.

"Why are you wearing-" he starts to ask.

"Do you not remember why I requested for you to hold my hair back yesterday?" interrupts Hanzo.

"Oh, yeah, how could I forget?" 

Even with all the vomit, that had been fun. Hanzo had nice hair.

"What's with the sound track?" asks Jesse. "I would have thought you'd prefer something a little more Eastern."

"You are American, so this is my compromise. I found an American piece that is not garbage." Hanzo grumbles.

"I recon Holst was from England." Jesse says, dropping the name like it's nothing. Hanzo pretends like he's not a little impressed.

 "It is the same thing."

"What are you doing?" Jesse asks, strongly resisting the urge to wrap his arms around Hanzo from behind. However, Jesse doesn't stop from thinking about it, as he also doesn't stop from thinking about resting his face in the crook of Hanzo's neck.

To say he looks nice right now would be an understatement. It's wearing on Jesse's self-control.

"You allowed me to sleep in your guest room, so I am making you breakfast."

Jesse lets the lie slip past.

"Mighty fine of you to do that for--," Jesse starts, cutting himself off. "Hanzo, why does my breakfast got suckers?"

"Do you not eat calamari?" Hanzo asks, and Jesse honest to god cannot tell if he's being authentic. 

Jesse has eaten boiled rats, raw eggs right out of the nest, and his own shoes. He's not sure how he feels about this.

"I can't say I have, no." he admits.

"Well, you must. It is a family tradition." Hanzo says. "And unlike the last time when I claimed something was traditional with my family, I am not being deceitful."  

"I was never one for doin' stuff because some other soul already went and did it." 

"You simply have no sense of customs."

"What part of 'lone ranger' is going over your head, Hanz?"

"The part where you value the friendship of at least one strange Japanese man who has slaughtered countless men, and the part where you hold down a steady job." 

"Have I mentioned to ya'll lately that I ain't fond of Overwatch?" Jesse asks, lowering his voice. 

"Yes, many times." Hanzo replies. "Just last night you called Ana to say that you did not enjoy how little the members of the organization scold you for constantly and publicly disproving of them. You claimed it made you feel mocked." 

"That does sound like something I would say. But I still need to make my point about traditions."

"I know this is a lot to ask of you, but please refrain from being too righteous." 

Jesse grins. "I don't know if I understand tradition. Always seemed to me like an excuse not to move on with practices that can be improved."

"I do not believe that is a fault of the concept, rather the fault of fools who practice it in such a manor." Hanzo responds.

"So what is it for you?"

Hanzo is silent. When he speaks, it's quieter. Jesse has come to recognize that this means he's saying something more personal.

"For me, it is about honoring my family. Recognizing something that they did and trying to ingrain it into my own practices, so that it can live on for a little while longer before it is inevitably forgotten."

He sighs.

"It is also because many members of my family would rise from their eternal slumber to torment me if I did not." he continues with a prideful smirk. Jesse takes that as a statement of kinship and love.

Jesse opens his mouth to make a comment, but is caught off guard by Hanzo placing a chunk of squid in his mouth. Stupid ninja reflexes...

"You were stalling." Hanzo explains.

Jesse chews for a second. It's rubbery. That's not a good thing.

"Thoughts?" Hanzo asks after Jesse swallows the bite whole.

"The aftertaste is the best part." Jesse answers. 

"You want more?"

"I'm alright."

"Open your mouth."

Jesse really can't say no to that. Rolling his eyes, he lets him mouth fall open as Hanzo places another piece of squid in his mouth. He doesn't miss the way Hanzo lingers on his lower lip for a quarter second longer than necessary for the task.

It's not as bad as his shoes. 


	8. Touching (reprise)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternatively named i am ashamed

Jesse McCree is tired.

After three days of living on adrenaline, sleeping in full chest plates, discovering a series of incredibly concerning government secrets that Overwatch didn't even know he had, and Fareeha almost dying, there was nothing that was going to get Jesse out of bed for the next 48 hours. He's not even sure he could get up if he wanted to. He accesses his voicemail to get the blinking light to go away, thankful that he doesn't have to move too much to do so. 

Hanzo has left him a message.

" _McCree. Your form on our last mission could use some work. Meet me in my quarters, if you can._ "

Jesse jumps out of bed, washes out his mouth and puts on pants for the first time since he got back. He's come to know that this was Hanzo's way of saying he was bored and lonely.

He's glad he showered last night. 

Jesse grabs a cig before he goes. Angela's got him on patches now, but after that mission, he needs an extra kick.

Jesse has the way to Hanzo's quarters memorized at this point. He has to take a bit of a detour to avoid Genji seeing him and putting two and two together, but he's there in a matter of minutes.

The door is unlocked, and he slips into Hanzo's place. From the sounds of metal he's hearing, he assumes Hanzo's in the kitchen.

Hanzo's quarters are more brightly lit than Jesse's, and less shot up. Jesse had a habit of shooting the ceiling when he woke up. But Hanzo had  _decor,_ and lamps and bookshelves and a family relics. And fancy shit, like a table cloth and a broom.

"So we trainin', or-?" Jesse starts to ask as he rounds the corner, but stops when he gets into full view of Hanzo, who's cutting a loaf of milk bread into slices. 

"Greetings." Hanzo replies.

Hanzo Shiada is wearing a suit.

Not just any suit. A blue and white, tailored thing with a vest and pinstripes and fucking-

And long pants.

Long tailored pants.

And his hair. It looks like he got a few inches off, and it's a damn sexy change of pace.

Jesse knows if he opens his mouth, he's going to say "Please have sex with me." so he ops to leave instead.

"Well, it was nice running into you in these parts." says Jesse, letting his eyes zone out so everything looks blurry. "But I left my toaster in the oven. I'll shoot you a ring later."

"What is the matter, McCree?" Hanzo asks as Jesse tries to step away. Hanzo places his hand on his shoulder and Jesse can now see the front of him. He's wearing a tie and Jesse needs a doctor.

"I need a drink."

"Sit."

"What are you wearing?" Jesse asks, hoping it won't give him away. 

Hanzo returns to his cutting board. Jesse thinks about the time he saw Hana's search history until the heat that's pooling in his abdomen subsides and he can focus again.

But he still keeps his eyes from focusing all the way because _damn_.

"I had buisness to attend to." Hanzo answers.

"You kill a man in that?"

"Two. Do not worry; although it may be a shame that our world is set up in such a way that power can be gained or lost through the death of men, they were more than meneces to the more innocent side of society."

"Load off my mind then. You got a light?" Jesse asks, popping the cigarette in his mouth.

"I am doubtful."

"You talk like a magic 8-ball, sweetheart."

Hoping he can fall back on novelty if he's met with rejection, Jesse reaches forwards and presses his unlit cigarette against Hanzo's upper arm.

"This right here should be hot enough." Jesse says.

"Huh. Needs work." Hanzo replies, seemingly not shaken in the slightest.

"Would ya'll care to turn on that burner for me?" Jesse requests. Hanzo looks confused, but turns the knob on his stove, anyway. After a few seconds of heating up, Jesse presses the tip of his cigarette into the bright red metal.

"Are you not in possession of a personal lighter? I will make a note to purchase you one, provided you are too incompetent to complete the task yourself." Hanzo says dryly.

"Easy on the eyes, but hard on the ego." Jesse quips. 

"I have been wondering something about you." Hanzo replies, ignoring the remark.

"A lotta people wonder how I can be every good part of libertarian ideologies rolled up into one easy-on-the-eyes motherfucker, sugar cake."

"That is exactly what I am refering to."

"I recon you ain't referred to anything yet, Hanz."

"You call your friends and even strangers names that are typically associated with lovers."

"What about it?"

"If that is how you live your life, how do you let someone know when you are actually interested?"

Jesse thinks for a minute, thoroughly bamboozled.

"I can't say I've ever though about that." he admits.

"Have you never taken a lover before?" Hanzo asks, making eye contact over his shoulder and raising an eyebrow.

"Oh course-what, of course I have." Jesse stumbles.

"Well, I suspect is it not because you are extreamly lucky. So, how do you do it?"

Jesse is taken aback. Half a million lines are coming to his head right now, but he's not sure what Hanzo's intentions are, which is pretty damn nerve-wracking.

"It really depends on the person." Jesse says. "For some I'm more open about my interest, but for others who I suspect have issues with intimacy, I might be a coward if I'm already enjoying the relationship I have with them enough to get by."

Jesse mentally smacks himself for actually saying that.

"Huh. Vague." Hanzo replies and Jesse isn't sure what he's referring to.

"Well ain't you judgmental today." Jesse observes. "What do you do, then?"

"Not a lot. I enjoy the process of tension building."

Jesse isn't sure if he's supposed to be getting turned on right now.

"You're one to claim what I said was vague." Jesse says. "Gotta be more specific than that."

"No."

"Shoot me a line." 

"I do not have 'lines'." Hanzo replies, wincing as the word leaves his mouth.

"You gotta have lines."

"Incidently, not."

"Show me a trick, then."

"No."

There's a pause.

"Huckleberry."

"No."

"Huckleberry."

"I cannot speak for you, but I am no longer a child lacking significant cognitive development." 

"Huckleberry."

Hanzo stops what he's doing, and turns to Jesse with an unamused facial expression. Suddenly, his eyes soften and he plucks the cigerette from Jesse's mouth, takes a draw, and blows the smoke back at Jesse's face in a calculated stream.

To Jesse's horror, he hears himself audibly sigh a little surprised " _oh_ ". Hanzo's looking at him, and Jesse resists the urge to shout "You're my favorite deputy!" to break the tension.

"Do you have any more questions?" Hanzo asks, smirking.

"Actually, yeah, I got one for ya', sweetheart. When'd you get shorn?" Jesse ask, trying to come back to his senses. It's hard; with what his friend is wearing and his body language, the blood in Jesse's body isn't rushing to his head. He makes some adjustments in his pants.

And holy shit, his hair. Jesse is aching to run his hands through it. He's close to breaking.

"Genji had the doctor cut it. He wanted to 'bond' with me. I was not in favor, but I did attempt to end his life, and yet he seeks no revenge. I am in his debt." explains Hanzo, reminding Jesse for the millionth damn time that he tried to kill Genji.

"It's...uh, neat." Jesse responds, immediately feeling deep loathing for who he fundamentally was as a person.

Hanzo gives a quick sharp sigh and turns on his heals to face Jesse, lifting himself up so he's sitting on the counter.

"What do you want, Jesse?" Hanzo asks. 

' _Don't look at his thighs, don't look at his thighs, don't look at his thighs._ ' says Jesse's brain.

"Huh?" Jesse asks, looking at Hanzo's thighs.

Jesse's heart kicks into 12th gear when Hanzo places a finger under his chin.

"I asked what you wanted, Jesse." Hanzo repeats.

"I don't quite understand what you mean, but I do hope you try to enlighten me." Jesse replies.

"If you wanted me, what would you do?" Hanzo asks, eyes half closed.  He seems serious and confident, but Jesse can sense that he's uncertain.

Jesse himself is uncertain. This seems too good to be true, and he worries he's misreading something. He's still not totally sure they're on the same page but at this point, he doesn't care. Jesse gives in to a terrible, horrible idea that just popped into his head.

"Well, maybe I'd make a comment like, 'you gotta little somethin' in your...'." Jesse trails off, closing the last foot of distance between their bodies. Just as he had hoped, Hanzo presses his thigh between Jesse's legs, and Jesse very much notices the quick breath Hanzo gives when he feels his hard-on.

"Hair." Jesse finishes, reaching up to affectionately tug at a stand of Hanzo's newly-shortened hair.

Hanzo closes his eyes and reaches for the hand stroking him, but Jesse has already stepped back, determine not to be the first to break.

His heart is racing and his blood is on fire. Despite years of learning to control his adrenaline rushes, it takes conscious effort to stop himself from shaking.

"Well, if I wanted you, I would say something along the lines of; I have been educated in the semantics of idealistic terms such as 'altruistic' or 'empathetic'," Hanzo says, "but I have never seen them being practiced so readily and purely before, and I have to say that I feel overcome by your kindness."

"You gotta thing for cowboys, doll?" Jesse asks, putting out his cigarette on his cybernetic arm.

"Give me what I want, Jesse." Hanzo replies.

Jesse's hands work on their own as they grab Hanzo by the collar and pull him in.

The first kiss only lasts a few seconds. Jesse pulls away, wanting to make sure they're on the same page.

He panics for a minute when he sees Hanzo's wide-eyed and surprised face, but realizes he has nothing to worry about when Hanzo locks an intense gaze with him and grabs the back of his neck.

Jesse can't think of a single time when kissing has been so sweet.

Hanzo's mouth knows what it's doing, and it's just as soft as Jesse thought it would be. The kiss isn't the fastest Jesse's had, but it's enough to spark a few little gasps from both of them, caused by teasing lip bites and quick flickers of tongue.

Jesse moves his hands from Hanzo's collar to his new hair, carding his hands through it to his heart's content.

And damn it if Jesse isn't content with this moment.

"Can't just show up like this -- with a fancy new haircut -- and that suit-" Jesse says, between kisses. "And not expect me to-"

"This is my house, Jesse."

Hanzo has never called him Jesse while sober before today. The first name and a well-timed grab at Jesse's hips leave the backs of his knees weakening. 

No, that's not acceptable. He still needs his dignity.

So he removes his hands from tangling through Hanzo's hair, and runs them up his thighs instead, a bit more aggressively and controlled than before. Hanzo knocks his hat off, and Jesse presses his mouth into the crook of his neck.

He's almost tempted to tell Hanzo his real name.

Hanzo's skin is so fucking smooth and he smells like a goddamn dream. 

Jesse backs off when he notices Hanzo squirming uncomfortably, not wanting to hurt him.

"You alright?" Jesse asks, and they both avoid confronting each other with the situation. Hanzo looks at the air next to Jesse's head, refusing to make eye contact.

"These pants are..." Hanzo replies, "restrictive."

Jesse can't stop the grin that's forming on his face. He should have picked that up from the way the man was awkwardly shifting his legs. At least Jesse has an excuse now to look at his pelvis.

Hanzo is so obviously hard through his pants that Jesse needs a moment to collect himself.

"My face. It is up here." Hanzo says.

"Huh?" Jesse asks, not really sure what he said.

"Have you always been this useless?"

"'Round you, maybe."

Hanzo grabs the back of Jesse's head and pulls him in for another kiss. It's a tiny bit rougher this time, and with one of Hanzo's hands in his hair and the other fiddling with his belt buckle, Jesse is on fire.

"You gotta damn pretty mouth, you know that?" Jesse says as Hanzo tries to get the clasp undone, and presses another kiss against his lips before he can respond.

Kissing Hanzo Shimada is an experience. The tilt of his head, the little noises he's making, the slight rock to him hips, and the way he's running his hands up Jesse's sides seem perfectly choreographed. Jesse can't help but hold on to the man as hard as he can without bruising him.

Hanzo pulls Jesse's belt off, and starts on his shirt.

"Why must you carry rounds of ammo with you on your person at all times?" Hanzo sighs, dropping Jesse's shirt to the floor and getting to work on his second belt.

"Just in case I need to break any hearts." Jesse replies, going for a hat tip but realizing it's not on.

"At one point, I thought it would be best to humble you, but I now see you are capable of completing the task yourself." 

Jesse isn't sure he should like it so much when Hanzo insults him. He reconnects their mouths.

"That mouth -- do anything else -- besides make passive-aggressive statements?" Jesse wispers into Hanzo's mouth.

"It once had to bite at -- an assassin's throat -- until she died."

"Alrighty then."

Jesse slides a hand under Hanzo's vest, not wanting to untuck his shirt. Hanzo looses his own belt buckle.

Jesse pushes back, because he wants to get another glimpse of the man and his new clothing choices.

"What it is?" Hanzo asks.

"Just wanna take a look at you." Jesse replies. Hanzo looks embarrassed, and Jesse notices he's still struggling with how tight his pants are getting, even now that his belt is off.

Jesse can't help it. He leans down and presses his mouth against the outline of Hanzo's cock through his pants.

"You are not helping the situation." Hanzo growls.

"Then let me." Jesse replies, resting his chin on Hanzo's thigh.

Hanzo takes the hint, and shifts so that Jesse can unbutton his suit pants. With Hanzo's help, Jesse pulls them down and gets his first glimpse at the smooth skin of Hanzo's thighs, and-"

"Is that a Bart Simpson tattoo?" Jesse asks.

Hanzo blinks with confusion before groaning.

"I had forgotten about that."

Amist the beautiful ink of dragons adoring Hanzo's flesh, a single, bright yellow Bart Simpson tattoo is present on his left leg, right under the ends of his briefs.

It's got a speach bubble saying "eat my shorts" and everything.

"Is that, uh, permanent?" Jesse asks.

"No."

"Why do you-"

"We will discuss this later." Hanzo says, pulling down his underwear.

Jesse stops thinking about the tattoo because holy shit. 

"Hmm. Huh Oh. Mmmhm." Jesse responds, eloquently.

"What?"

Hanzo has the prettiest pelvis that anyone has ever seen, with obvious work put into his public hair. If Jesse hadn't already figured out at this point that Hanzo was into guys, how clean and pretty he was would have given it away.

"When I asked to be devoured, I did not mean by your eyes."

Jesse has more to say, but he reaches down to run his tongue along Hanzo's cock before he combusts. 

"Don't pretend you don't want a bit a' both." Jesse says, scooping Hanzo up in his arms.

"What are you doing?" Hanzo asks, more than a little confused.

"Counter top's too high." Jesse answers, placing Hanzo on the edge of his couch.

Jesse gets on his knees and returns to his previous position. Hanzo fits very, very well in Jesse's mouth and throat, and he starts to experiment with different techniques.

He quickly finds that Hanzo vocally likes it when he focuses pressure on the head. Jesse is happy to comply, considering how silky it is.

"You are a good man, Jesse." Hanzo sighs, raking his hands through Jesse's messy hair. Jesse has heard that phrase from Hanzo on three occasions. The other two have more sentimental value, but right now, this time is his favorite.

Jesse suddenly realizes that the only thing he really needs to witness in his life is Hanzo orgasming. So he increases the speed of what he's doing. He can feel Hanzo's cock twitch in response under his tongue.

"You look better with your mouth full." Hanzo says, causing Jesse to moan against his cock.

Jesse grasps Hanzo's outer thighs with his hands, and indulges himself in Hanzo's increasingly ragged breathing.

"Do me a favor." Hanzo says. Jesse removes his mouth, panting.

"What? Tell me." Jesse responds.

Hanzo suddenly crosses his legs, looking embarrassed.

"Forgive me, but am I being too direct?" Hanzo asks. Jesse realizes that his confidence through this whole thing was an act, and there's something strangely sweet about that.

Jesse gets up and pants a quick kiss on Hanzo's mouth, happy to be able to do it whenever he feels like it.

At least for now.

"Honey, you can be as direct with me as you like." Jesse answers with his whole body.

"Well, if you insist so verbally..."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I think your choice of wearing pants right now is a little excessive."

Jesse takes the hint, sliding out of his own pants and shoes as fast as he can without falling over.

Jesse returns to his knees on the floor, wondering why Hanzo wanted him to take his pants off now. And when he slips Hanzo's cock back in his mouth, he gets his answer.

"Touch yourself." Hanzo orders. 

Jesse is more than happy too. He slides down his underwear and takes his right, god-given hand off of Hanzo's thigh.

"Ain't the first time something you did encouraged me to touch myself." he says, against Hanzo's cock. 

"Now that is a lovely thought." Hanzo replies, and Jesse can feel him shiver.

Stroking himself is a lot more fun when he's multitasking like this.

He can feel himself approaching the edge quicker than he would like, so he slows down.

"No," Hanzo says as he picks up on what's happening. "We are currently on the same trajectory." 

Through scrambled thoughts, Jesse realizes Hanzo just asked him to come with him.

"I think you just like when I make noise." Jesse says, shifting his position so he can speed up on both their ends.

"I do." 

Jesse can tell from the noises Hanzo is making that he's got just a few seconds left in him. 

But when Hanzo does finish, the short phrases in Japanese he moans and the way he cups Jesse's face are enough to leave Jesse splattering the carpet, with or without his hand putting in the work.

Suddenly, Jesse realizes that his mouth is full of something that doesn't taste bad, but not as good as porn made it out to be. Although after all the calamari Hanzo made him eat, it's easy to swallow without dwelling too much.

"Did you really, truly, finish on my carpet?" asks Hanzo, panting.

Jesse looks down at the stain on the carpet that's clearly in line with his dick.

"That was already there." he answers. Hanzo is not impressed

Jesse pulls a shamwow (that he plans to burn later) out of the pocket of his jeans, which are lying next to him, and gets to work. Hanzo slides his undergarments back up. But keeps his pants unbuttoned.

"Jesse?" Hanzo asks slowly, and Jesse realizes it's time to confront the situation. Jesse sits down next to Hanzo on the couch, wanting to touch him but waiting for a green light.

"Forgive me. I am worried that my...urges got the better of me. I intended to be more emotionally expressive. It is not my strongest suit." Hanzo says.

"Can I get that in English?" Jesse asks. He has a pretty good idea of what Hanzo means, but wants to be sure.

"バカじゃないの"

"Thanks."

"Jesse, this is not all I want from you."

"What else do you want?"

Hanzo goes stone cold and looks around like he's trying to find an escape route.

"Whoa, Hanz, I ain't sayin' no to anything. I just need a general idea to work with you here."

"I am enamored with you."

For not the first time today and definitely not the first time in Hanzo's presence, Jesse can't stop the smile that's spreading on his face. He understands now what Hanzo is afraid of.

"You are the prettiest little thing I've ever seen." Jesse says. "And that has little to do with why I enjoy being around you."

Now it's Hanzo who looks pleased. Jesse strokes his face, and Hanzo shuts his eyes and lets his head fall against Jesse's hand.

Jesse could just die.

"Just to clarify," Hanzo says, "do not think I did not enjoy the events that just took place. They were simply not how I had previously intended to communicate my interest to you."

"Then why'd you wear this?" Jesse asks, sliding his hand up Hanzo's waist affectionately.

"I was not being deceitful when I informed you that I had business to attend to. Choosing to put this on had nothing to do with me inviting you into my home."

"Why'd you keep it on?"

"The matter is none of your concern." Hanzo answers, cracking a smile. He rests his head in the crook of Jesse's shoulder. He's warm and Jesse still isn't sure this is happening.

"Just to be crystal clear." Jesse starts. "I just sucked your dick, right? That's why I'm naked?"

"Yes." Hanzo answers, smiling reluctantly.

"From what you said earlier, ya'll sounded like you had this planned."

"Please stop saying 'yawl'."

"Ooof. Give that word another spin, sweetheart."

A moment passes. Jesse runs his hands through Hanzo's hair, pushing it out of his face.

"But yes, to answer your question. I was tired of dancing." Hanzo says, which Jesse takes to mean as "I finally got sick of being emotionally constipated out of fear of abandonment so I took a risk to get something I wanted."

Jesse is pleasently surprise when Hanzo reaches up to kiss him again. And again.

Jesse pulls away, and strokes Hanzo's lower lip with his finger.

"Hanz?" he asks.

"What?"

"Why do you gotta Bart Simpson tattoo?"

Hanzo sighs like the work of art with an imperfection that he is.

"I requested Ana's services for a bullet wound yesterday. She put me under, and it appeared on me while I was unconscious. She informed me that I could not prove it was her."

"Alrighty then." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched a bunch of clips of McCree's voice actor playing overwatch today, and for some reason it made me feel even guiltier than I already did for writing this.
> 
>  
> 
> Also just wanna say I am on team against the new sombra hair

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't like, a masterpiece, but I had fun writing it. I'm thinking of doing something more in depth (like I usually do) this summer, if I have enough time between other projects.


End file.
